The traits by which we measure a successful person may not come naturally to all of us, but they can be developed and cultivated over time.
We are all on the search for the best possibly version of ourselves. If you are reading this , it is more than likely a priority to grow and evolve in some way in your life.
Well hey there… Me too! It is exciting and motivating to know that there is more in store for you ;that there is room to BECOME better. Whether the person you seek to BECOME is more patient, more organized, more honest, or more active — the process of evolving into that person begins with building and sticking to new habits that support that goal.
Looking to BECOME more active ? — create habits like going to the gym or join a team sport .
Looking to BECOME honest? — begin to create habits of awareness and transparency through practice. This a a great space to dialogue with a therapist.
Looking to BECOME more assertive in your professional career ?– practice using your voice and exercising your confidence to share and express yourself more.
Whoever you are seeking to become. Is at the other side of your bad habits , in the space where your new habits live. Nothing in life is instantaneous — everything that grows lives and dies undergoes a process. Tree’s begin with roots, vegetables begin as seeds, birds begin as eggs. Nature is the biggest indicator that BECOMING and evolving into your best self requires a process. And that process for us starts with the things you practice everyday . The daily habits and actions we carry out everyday have a huge impact on the direction we go in our lives.
This us how people can have a goal but seem to be working actively against achieving that goal because their habits and daily actions negate what they say they truly want.
Example: me saying I want a six pack, then eating all the junk food i can find!
Practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes habits.
I am personally looking to form a better morning routine this year. As someone still struggling with joining the 5 ( or even 6) am club everyday – I have a hard time getting up early. If it were up to me I would sleep in daily. But I have a deep desire to accomplish goals that can shift my life experience. In order to do that, I need to be able to get up in the morning. Getting up early is a habit I am desperately trying to form, but the baits we form can go even deeper than our physical actions. It can include the habits of happiness, confidence, honesty….
Wherever there are places you seek to grow, insert new habits that support the growth you seek.
So how does one begin to even start the process of creating a new habit? What do you change ? How will you know what works?
9 Steps to Forming and Building New Habits ( that support your dreams)
1- Unplug From The Matrix
Doing what you have always done, because it always been done that way is a mindset to THROW OUT THE WINDOW! when I say unplug from the matrix it means , get out of the routine of your bad habits. Get off of autopilot. Unplug and look at the true reality of where you are and where you need to grow.
Simply stepping out of the your everyday mindset is a catalyst for change and growth.
TIP : slow down your actions, start to acknowledge the small steps and decisions you make throughout the day to increase your self awareness. Look for the moments that you are excelling versus stalling your growth. What actions support your outlined goal? What are you doing to detract from who you are BECOMING?
2- Acknowledge the need and desire to change
Change is hard to force on someone, even yourself. Change can only come from within, out of a desire to change or edit a part of one’s life. It is easy to become unmotivated and distracted if you aren’t aware that getting to the next level requires change and growth. IF you don’t feel you need to grow, you will rarely make intentional moves to do so . This is not to say you cant motivate yourself, but it must come from a genuine desire to edit your current situation in someway .
TIP: Envision your life as you desire it. Ask the questions….
What do you do? How do you spend your time? How do you treat others? What kind of people do you surround yourself with ? Then compare this life to your current life. Where are the gaps? Do your current actions support the life you have envisioned for yourself? If not, know this is going to be the thing that KEEPS YOU FROM BECOMING. There is your motivation. Fill the gap between where yoy are and where uou want to be. Find the desire inside of you and ignite your motivation with it.
3- Find Your ‘ Why’ — Discover the Purpose behind your Vision
When we set a goal in our live, big or small it is tied to our inner desire to avoid suffering and experience happiness. Understanding why ,helps to strengthen and fortify your will power in times of temptation or when behavioral triggers pop up. Developing and digging into your why is an exercise in awareness. It is the practice of asking yourself questions in order to reveal your root motivations and essentially , what is important to you. It wont flip a switch and make you a new person over night but it will help chip away doubt and distraction if you are mindful and dedicated to the process,
4- Confront Your Triggers
When we talk about developing discipline , people rarely talk about triggers. The sneaky little gateway bad habits or temptations that pull us back into our old ways and away from who we are BECOMING. We all have triggers – these can be emotions, people, things, or experiences that jump start unhealthy or unproductive behaviors .
Our biggest impediment is our mind when creating new behaviors. If you can acknowledge when something is a distraction, you are more likely to avoid it . If you know that walking into a bakery will almost always result in you cheating on your diet, then your new habit should include avoiding the behavior that detracts from your goal; ie going to the bakery.
TIP: Ask yourself questions — and be HONEST WITH YOURSELF
What triggers your laziness?
What triggers your procrastination?
Whatt triggers your self doubt ?
What triggers your will to give up?
5 – Create Your Commitment
Consistency is a staple of self discipline and developing habits. Our brain learns from repetition. Meaning the more you do something the easier it will become to do it again. In order to commit to creating a new habit, you will likely need more than words to stick with it. You need to put a plan and process in place to insure your success!
How will you commit to developing this goal ? What’s your plan ?
Are you working out 3 days a week on MT and TH in order to achieve your fitness goal? or maybe you have a trainer?
are you committing to a daily language app to develop those language skills in order to become fluent ?
Maybe you have a weekly tutor to help you bring up your grades or confidence In a class?
Whys are important , it is the engine that gets us to where we want to go. But the how is the car and the route. Without it, it doesn’t matter how much power your engine has, you wont get to where your going .
TIP: Schedule your habits into your days. Commit to times and focus intentionally to sticking to that plan .
6- Affirm Yourself
Speaking Life Into yourself is one of the most powerful ways to stick to something. Remember the little train that could ?
“… i think i can I think i can ..”
If you believe you can and speak that energy into yourself, when we begin to waiver in our ability to stay committed, we fortify our own strength and commitment to our goals.Part of affirming yourself is verbal and mental, the other part is about creating an environment in which you are more like to succeed and thrive. You can affirm your ability to succeed with the people you choose to hang out with, the places you choose to go, the information you choose to consume.
Does this help inspire me or propel me closer to my goal? Are the people around my supportive and encouraging? Affirm yourself with words but also create an environment that you can win.
7 – Be Consistent + Accountable
Dont forget to remember ! Meaning – set yourself up to never have an excuse by being proactive. Set Reminders , Use notes to Self. Get an Accountability Partner.
Sticking to Your Goal starts before execution. How to prepare for your win, can guarantee your success or failure.
Set Yourself for the win, but follow through an commit to the process.
When you want to quit … do it anyway!!
When you come up with excuses to do it later… get up and do it then!
When you feel like missing one day wont hurt you … remember habits are formed through repetition!
There is a part of accountability that is often ignored in the conversation. And that is creating a sense of accountability and responsibility over your environment and reactions to that environment. We can not ever control or predict everything that will happen to us , but we can put our mindset in a position to properly navigate the moments when we can not control.
TIP : use ‘If/ Then’ Statements that lead to solutions to prepare for the things that can keep you from staying committed or on track.
Example: “ If someone asks me to go out and its not in my budget THEN I will explain that I am currently saving for XYZ.” Creating this sense of preparedness for the inevitable temptation, distraction or excuses that will come your way is a great way to stay confident that you re strong enough to succeed in the things you set out to do.
8 – Celebrate Your Wins
Treat Yourself when you do something that gets you closer to your goals . Sometimes , it can be tempting when looking to form self disciple and form a habit ,to limit ourselves from treats and rewards of any kind. The truth is , rewarding yourself after good behavior is a great way to reinforce the behavior in our minds. The brain will correlate that activity or habit with positive emotion and strengthen the connection of the synaptic tissues which creates memory and habit.
Celebrate the small wins. Maybe you resist a craving that you usually give into…. pat yourself on the back . Its okay and important to take time to feel good about your accomplishment .
TIP : Avoid rewards that negate the progress of your habit forming
9 – Build On Your Habits
It’s important to reward yourself for your small wins but don’t get too comfortable . Keep your eye on the prize and keep pushing towards your overall goal. Strengthen your new habits, build on them and keep BECOMING your best self.
What habits are you looking to form?