On today’s episode of The Becoming You Podcast we Discuss How To “Do It All” Without Actually Doing It All
The Becoming You Podcast is the millennial space for connecting and becoming your best self through personal development and success practices. In this space we empower and connect to our inner light, purpose, and the endless possibilities that we unlock through healing, growth, and self-love .Through self-mastery and practical methods we will connect to our inner power, get out of our own way, and develop the most important relationship there is, the relationship with yourself.
We have been having a lot of discussion about goals and creating new habits over the last few weeks. And as your motivation and introspection about where you want your life to go grows you may notice so does your to do list. The things you need to do, change , or want to do can feel like they pile up around you and may get overwhelming.
The Audits Collection creates clarity by defining the different areas of our lives or zones of influence so that we can address the goals, behaviors, and habits in that area.
The 8 Zones of Influence Are :
School/ Learning/ Academic Health
Home and Your Physical Space
Internal Well Being , Spirituality, and Personal Development
Trying to juggle all the various areas of your life can seem daunting. Especially if you are just beginning to write down your goals, create supporting plans, and implement a process that works. Not to mention the editing process that comes along with finding what truly works for us because personal success is not a one sized fit all experience.
So How Do We Find a Balance and Get Things Done When Time and Energy feels limited?
Utilizing a few tools and strategies in our lives can help us create more balance in our lives. I say more balance because it is impossible and dangerous to pressure yourself to maintaining some perfect balance in all areas at once. Implementing strategies can help create space for ourselves as well as our other priorities instead of one or the other.
There are cycles in every area of our lives and working through those in a way that is healthy and healing to us is important. This is why understanding what drains ,depletes, and distracts us is necessary to create clarity in our decision making and alignment in our actions with our goals.
How To Do It All Without Doing It All
When we say doing it all — we must first begin by looking at what it ALL is. Sometimes we have created lists and tasks for ourselves that really are important or properly aligned with what we have set our goal toward. In order to get more done and also FEEL like we are getting more done, we first need to know what it truly important to us and has the greatest need for our energy and time. When we narrow in on whats important we can stop feeling pulled in unnecessary directions and can better focus our energy on what drives our goals, healing, and happiness forward.
Learn To Say No
No is an answer. Stop taking on responsibilities , tasks, events and over extending yourself without intent.
If you are a doer or people pleaser , I invite you to dig into that. Ask questions. Is that connected to a trauma, an attachment style or a need to be liked?
Sometimes we do for others at the expense of and sometimes detriment to ourselves because we feel as if people wont like us as much or keep us around if we don’t prove or provide value to their lives. Detaching from this mindset requires us to look at ourselves as worthy and amazing without the approval of others and this mindset in itself will begin to create space for like minded people to enter your life. The people that like appreciate and uplift you for who you are.
I bring this up because sometimes we look at our issues from a one dimensional perspective. We think, if my issue is not getting enough done, obviously the solution is in fixing our productivity or time management. However, the key to getting more done may be learning to love yourself more authentically so that you dont feel compelled to add things on your plate that depleat you and throw you off track.
Doing things for others is a great thing — just with the right reasons.
Be intentional about how you spend your time. Setting yourself up for success is a key to creating balance between the areas of your life. For example, if you have a job, are a student, and are working on your internal and physical health, carving out time to study, cook meal prep and go to the gym is important. If you plan your day out the night before you may realize you can save some time in the mornings by meal prepping on Sundays. Or you can save 30 minutes on your commute by packing your gym bag and putting it next to the door by your bag for the day so you dont have to come back home.
There are small ways we can prepare our day and the different areas of our lives . Sometimes these are one of preparation , so creating a weekly plan that reflects your needs for that week is important. There are other preparations that become the and habits we form processes we live by .
Distraction and multitasking actually slows us down. It feels like we are doing more but when we are working on something or in a moment it helps us to stay on task. Multitasking is not technically a thing — the brain. What we describe as multitasking is really tasking switching because the brain is not meant to carry out multiple complex tasks at once. When we direct our attention from one thing to another we can lose up to 40% of our productivity – almost half!
Sometimes it feels like we have more things to do and handle then time in the day, but the truth is we can be far more productive in our tasks and perform better if we remain present and focused on the task at hand. For this I love to utilize time blocks. When scheduling my day I carve out time for each of the things on my list. And while performing that task I ( try my hardest) to only perform that task. My mind is more clear, what I produce is better, and i often get things done faster than expected which makes room for myself or other tasks I decide to get done.
Being present does not just impact our productivity but it enriches the fullness of our experiences. If we carve out family time or time with a friend or loved one – the moments when we are fully present and taking in the experiences are richer and more impactful than before. Remember , creating a more balanced life also includes our community and relationships — take time to be present in all your moments. Let your tasks and your thoughts about other things take a back seat to your current moment. Whether that is working on a project for work — or spending time with your best friend. Be present. It makes time count for more.
Ask For Help
Many of us have a hard time asking for help and that is why we are tired. Take off your cape, there is no need to be a martyr. You do not have to do everything! Ask or help from your community
Ask for help out source your weaknesses – create a process for someone else to follow
If you need to have a house keeper come in 2 twice a month to help you. Allow yourself that space if it financially feasible. You may need to outsource your design in your business. Or get a tutor to help your studying process. Maybe you need a babysitter on a Saturday so you can run errands. Find the spaces you need help and find a way to fill it with someone who is great at it.
If its your employees in your business or the chores with your family if there are spaces where you are taking on a load and have a team or network you can delegate tasks to, do so. I see this in some spaces with entrepreneurs
If you are finding yourself having trouble asking for help this is another area I can say from experience that introspection or therapy can help! There can be limiting beliefs that we cannot ask for help or it will make us weak. weak to ourselves or perceived as weak . and that is simply not true. We often take on things and people dont even know we need help — or they do and we wont let them. Let go… ask for help.
As I mentioned before, there are many areas of our lives that can need attention. Some have a greater priority than others depending on who you are and where you are in your life.
For example. Two people can both consider their financial and their academic well being a zone of influence or area of their life. However, if person A is a young student their focus would probably require greater attention and reflection of the behaviors and goals around their schooling. However person B who studies for pleasure and is a self learner but has children and maybe a home, will be far more likely to prioritize their financial behaviors.
Checking in with yourself like this is what I call an audit. This type of check in uses a system to reflect and compare our behaviors and choice against the goals we have set to gain clarity on how to improve, grow, or heal.
Some of you I know for a fact have purchased an audit or the entire collection and have expressed how it has helped you dig deeper into your own behaviors and choices and i love that. The power of honest self reflection can really open doors to our own best selves.
When we audit we not only see what we need to improve on and what we were unable to complete the week before but we also see what we are doing well! And we need to cheer for ourselves and feel affirmed in all that we ARE doing.
Know that searching for perfection or some perfect life is unattainable because perfect doesn’t exist. We have the power to create our version of happiness if we create a mindset of gratitude. The more we are grateful and clear about what is truly important , we will stop piling on unnecessary responsibilities and weights on ourselves, allow ourselves lean on our community, and heal spaces that keep us in our own way due to limiting beliefs and traumas
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
How am I using my energy?
Is this the best use of my time?
Can I ask /Have I asked for help?
Is this a priority in my life? If so why ? If not, do I need to do this?
This collection of 8 workbooks guides you through the step by step process of reviewing and auditing your behaviors and habits from the previous year to bring clarity to your strengths and areas of opportunities for your future goals. Auditing and reviewing our behaviors of the past in comparison to the goals we have set can help to create greater alignment between our future behaviors and current goals. When we do not reflect on what did or did not work well for us , we lose the opportunity to tweak our behaviors or make different choices that will have a more positive and intentional impact on our goals. Check out the Audit Collection or choose the topics that resonate most with your goals.